all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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