I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
