He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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