How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
