I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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