is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
