You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
