marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dick very happy bro
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
