I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
