He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
