It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
