i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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