I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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