He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
