You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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