Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
