Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
