I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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