You work out of a Hotel?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
