Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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