people are starting to question the shark bite story
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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