Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
