i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
