i don't like sucking hair
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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