Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
