Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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