Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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