I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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