is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
