If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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