I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
