Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
