she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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