Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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