dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
