He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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