I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
