He asked to "fluff my boner.."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
