You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
