I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
