Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
