You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
