tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
