No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
