Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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