Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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