I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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