Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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