Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
