I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
