I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
