At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
