what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just had sex on a roof
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
